Author Topic: 53. BABY, THERE'S TROLLS OUTSIDE (to the tune of "Baby It's Cold Outside)  (Read 249 times)

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Online JoytheDog

Time for a holiday duet (Melanie sings the first line, Trog answers in the parentheses)

BABY, THERE'S TROLLS OUTSIDE (to the tune of "Baby It's Cold Outside)

I really can't stay (Baby it's cold inside)
I can't stand the chalet (Baby it's cold inside)
This marriage has been (hope Chris3 drops in)
a complete sham (just another scam)
Your mama's not worried (and I'm in no hurry)
Michelle's on the cold floor (I'll just beg for more)
The neighbors might think (there's trash out there)
I should spike your drink (and get me out of your hair)
I wish I knew how (I'm back on Steemit now)
to escape this smell (I'll bathe next week, my dear Mel)
I should have said no (now you're my Pinay ho)
What the hell was I thinking (that ain't near-beer that I'm drinking)
I got to get away (baby, I don't care)
But baby it's cold inside!

Your mama's house (we'll load up on gifts)
is so nice and warm (we won't stay there long)
Your sis is ridiculous (just wash the friggin' dishes)
What'll my family think? (what's all that crap in the sink?)
This deer meat looks suspicious (cat puke would be more delicious)
it's all brown and gamey (you can't pin dat on me)
Wish I could go home to P.I. (I'll start another shirt drive)
and meet a normal guy (because my brain is fried)
You aint' makin' no cash (but there's gold in that trash)
These 2 years ain't been grand (and I'm not holding your hand)
You've trashed up this land (but I'm my own man)
This house is like ice (baby it's cold inside)
The roof's still got a leak (baby there's mold inside)
I'm still stuck with this freak (lots of mold inside)
But baby there's mold inside!

I don't wanna do vids (and I don't want no more kids)
I'm wearin' 3 sweaters (yeah, life's gettin' better)
There's frost on the glass (as I sit on my ass)
Hold Michelle for a while (why dat baby don't smile?)
Can we please have some heat (then cook dat deer meat)
I feel a draft (on Wednesday nites I bundshaft)
Michelle might get sick (and your face I will lick)
From these fleas we will itch (from Turdcoins we'll get rich)
This is no way to live (and not a damn do I give)
Here, take back this ring (shut up and serve your king)
Your whole life is a scam (baby, there's trolls outside)
They don't show up on your cams (but there's trolls outside)
I'm gonna get my 12 gauge cuz there's trolls outside!


The original for reference:
Matthew 11:7 - What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A REID shaken with the wind?
 

Online OldCodge

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Re: 53. BABY, THERE'S TROLLS OUTSIDE (to the tune of "Baby It's Cold Outside)
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2018, 10:02:42 pm »
 ;D

One of your best, and topical to boot.   ;)

Well played, Sir!

Offline FixedByDoc

Re: 53. BABY, THERE'S TROLLS OUTSIDE (to the tune of "Baby It's Cold Outside)
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2018, 11:30:06 pm »
best so far...
Always doing better...